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Hard isn't even the word to explain it...

Ughhhhh not sure I am even gonna be able to write this with out sobbing like a baby!!  I got out of bed this am knowing that I was going to drop my babies off at daycare in the matter of hours, and not see them again until Friday evening!!  I have NEVER EVER left my babies.  The only time Bird has been away from me is when I was in the hospital having Kenley, and even then that was difficult for me. 

The Husband hugged me goodbye, and I cried like a baby.  I'm not a fan of being away from him either.  I feel safe when I am home.  Bird woke up and was being such a big girl.  She got herself dressed, and we sat and watched Tangled for a bit.  I just sat with her rubbing her little arm.  She just let me.  I kept telling her how much I loved her, and she looked at me in all seriousness and said... "Mommy....you are so silly....I Love You too"!  Down came the tears!!! 

I went in to get Goose up and there she was standing there waiting for me as I entered her room.  ALL SMILES!!  Guess what....yep tears!!  I scooped her right up and just snuggled with her until she started squirming for me to let her go.

We loaded up and headed to daycare....just like normal, but my God my heart was soooo heavy.  I told myself I was gonna be strong.  I told myself I was done crying.  HA!!  I got the girls inside, and I wanted to just curl up into a ball and stay with them.  Bird ran up to me and wanted some more squeezes.  I squeezed her and just couldn't stop them...down came the tears.  I quickly said goodbye, I didn't want the girls to see Mommy crying. 

So here I am....laying on this huge bed in this hotel room wondering how in the world I am going to sleep?  I have no Husband, no baby monitor, no ceiling fan, and no little lady sleeping next door to greet me in the am.  Man this SUCKS!!  I am sooooo homesick already and it hasn't even been 24 hours!!  I pray this week goes by fast.  I want my babies back in my arms!!! 

To my girls:
Mommy Loves you both sooooo much.  I hate that I am away from you.  I hate that I can't be the face you see when you wake, and the one you kiss goodnight.  I'm sorry that I won't be there to kiss away your booboos.  Be good for Daddy, and know that I hate every minute of this.  I MISS YOU TO THE MOON!!! 

AGGGHHHH THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments

Shelly- Mom Files said…
AWWWW! :( You poor thing! I can only imagine how you feel. Do you know I have turned down all expenses paid blog opportunities because I won't leave my babies?! I have never been away from any of mine except for when they have been on overnight trips for school or friends sleepovers. Hang in there! Won't be much longer!! ((hugs))
May 10, 2011 at 7:47 AM
Rubydotlarue said…
Candie, just know that you are lucky to have Kurt with the girls while you're away. He knows their routine he knows what they like. These few days will fly by for you! It's already Tuesday!! Kurt is a great daddy and will keep those girls going until Friday when you get home! I know it's never easy to be away from them. Delaney has only spent the night somewhere about a dozen times and she's almost 7 years old! My 8 days of seperation for my vacation was torture but it did us all some good! Love you and try to enjoy yourself!
May 10, 2011 at 10:55 AM
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