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13 Long Years Ago.....

We lost you 13 long years ago today.  My heart still aches for you.  I miss you like no other.

Dear Grandma-  How is Heaven?  I can only imagine the beauty you see each and everyday.   Like you I am blessed to see a different kind of beauty everyday as well.  I hope you see them too, because they are simply amazing!  The other night I was having a moment of weakness when I broke down and cried because I missed you, Bird asked why I was crying and I told her.  She lit up and said, "Mom, I never knew you had a Grandma too!"  She immediately said, "Can I meet her"?  More tears, "No baby, you can't today, but someday along time from now you will".  I explained to her that you had to go to Heaven and hang out with God before she was able to meet you.  

Oh how I wish you could meet them.  They are simply amazing.  Everyday I learn something new about them.  I see just a little spec of who they might be when they grow up.  Bird tells me everyday that she wants to be a baby Dr. and help bring babies to their Mommies!  Goose, she is my bullheaded one, she may look like her Daddy, but man does she have her Mommy's spunk!  She is strong willed and she does not get bullied that's for sure!  Man is she sweet when she wants to be though!  She is still a snuggler at times, and I promise I cherish these times! 

Papa is still ornery as ever!  He loves to pick on the kiddos just as he has always done!  His patients are dwindling, he doesn't like to be around all the kiddos when they are excited and loud, makes him a nervous wreck I think!  He loves watching Little Man every now and then.  He takes him to "the big ship" to eat, then they drive around and even go to the old airport!  Little Man sure does love his Papa!  Goose is still a Papa's girl!  She adores him like no other! 

As for me, for the most part I am happy.  At times I wonder if I did the right thing for our family by leaving the money world to go back to saving lives, but the happiness I get from being home with my girls and the fact that I Love my job, makes it easy for me to say...YES, yes I did.  We only live once, ans I am determined to live every moment to the fullest!  I hope you are proud of who I have become.  Of the Mommy I strive to be, and most of all for the person I have always been.  You always told me that you loved the spirit in my heart the most.  The light in my eyes that I always seemed to have.  Well you will be happy to know, I might have lost it for a while.....but I'm getting it back...slowly but surely I'm getting it all back! 

I wish I could just keep typing.  Having this make believe conversation with you all day, but there are two little people that are getting restless and need to be played with.  Man I miss you.  I can't say it enough.  I LOVE YOU GRANDMA!!! 

With All My Love,
Your Baby Girl

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